Hiya! Squatch here.
I just completed my May to-do list. I had to stock up on white-soled slugs (the Arion circumscriptus), map out my next few woodsy sleeping sights around Mount Hood and dole out a few looked-like-me-but-was-it-really-me sightings to human PNW hikers. Phew! Now I get to take a load off these big feet before my busy summer hits.
If many of your weekends this summer are already planned out, perhaps you too need a during-the-week getaway now.
Squatch here. Turns out, when you’re an 8 foot furball that keeps to itself, humans just might name a crowded music festival after you. I’d love to meet Lolapalooza and Coachella to suss out their monster-identities.
You may have heard of my little namesake Pacfic NW festival that runs every Memorial Day weekend since 2002, but what you MIGHT NOT know is this:
Hiking is my life!
No, seriously it is. I HAVE to hike to stay away from you humans with cameras.
I don’t call it hiking. I call it ‘elusive-ing,’ kinda like you might say ‘adulting.’
As Sasquatch, it’s safe to say I know my way around the wilderness in the area, so here are my three favorite wildflower ‘elusiv-ing’ spots around Hood River and the Columbia River Gorge.
Rowena Plateau Hike: Easy, 1 mile saunter, 100 foot elevation gain
General location: 20 minutes from Hood River near Moser
Gorge-ous views of the Gorge! Visit Rowena Pond along the way using small trails that lead to its edge. Great for kids, but doggies are not allowed. Some poison oak.
Lyle Cherry Orchard Hike: Moderate, 5.2 trek out and back, with a loop at the end, 140 foot elevation gain
General location: 20 minutes from Hood River, heading over the bridge to the Lyle, Washington. Expansive expansive views to the east and west. Amazing wildflowers in spring.
Poison oak abounds along most sections of the trail, so stick to path and keep your dog on a leash.
Memaloose Hills Hike: Moderate, 5.2 mile in-and-out tromp, 957 foot altitude gain
General location: 15 minutes from Hood River, heading east on Highway 84 in Moser.
All 3 spots are within a lovely 20 minute drive from my favorite lodging in Hood River, Lodge 902.
NOT Looking forward to Meeting You,
Squatch
Lodge 902 Bed & Breakfast in downtown Hood River opened in January 2018 and has never come across a bad review! It’s got a hip and funky feel with the charm of a vintage house, plus all of the modern updates to ensure comfort. With six bedrooms (all with adjoining the bathrooms) and plenty of comfortable common areas, it’s also an ideal house to rent for off-site meetings, family reunions, wedding lodgings, guys’ weekends, women’s getaways and retreats.
Although a Cinco de Mayo sombrero has never graced the top of my enormous noggin, I do get a superiority buzz witnessing the annual C de M ya-ya’s meander all pigeon-toed around town after a few tequila-shot-dares.
Shoot, I’d need to slurp down a swimming pool full of that stuff to get me loose and likable.
Anyhoo, if you’re looking to get away to Hood River, Oregon for Cinco de Mayo this year, here are my top 5 recommendations for fun this weekend.
NOT looking forward to meeting you,
Squatch
Brian’s Pourhouse (just a few blocks from Lodge 902 on Oak Street downtown) Cinco de Mayo Party, 5-10pm Saturday night. Fun drinks, music & food.
Hood River Farmer’s Market Opens! Saturday, 9am-1pm
5th & Columbia Street, downtown Hood River
Kickstand Coffee (now served at Lodge 902) sponsors the family-friendly NPF Bike ride from Hood River to Moser (4.5 miles) on Sunday, May 6, 10am-2pm.
Post-ride party just 1/2 mile from Lodge 902 at Kickstand Coffee where a portion of the sales will go to the National Psoriasis Foundation.
Jacob Williams Winery’s Cinco de Mayo Fiesta, 10am - 6pm
Expect vino, entertainment and Tacos Pepe food truck.
MountNbarrel Winery Bike Tours, Thursday 5/3-Monday 5/7, 10am-3pm
Leisurely all-inclusive wine country bike tours throughout the breathtaking Hood River Valley. Locally guided ride includes bikes/helmets, transportation from lodgings, tastings at 3 wineries, farm fresh food and more.
Lodge 902 can store your sombrero, fresh farm fruit, wine and bike this weekend!
It’s a downtown bed and breakfast in the Columbia River Gorge’s most celebrated town, Hood River, Oregon. With six bedrooms (all with adjoining the bathrooms) and plenty of comfortable common areas, it’s also an ideal house to rent for off-site meetings, family reunions, wedding lodgings, guys’ weekends, women’s getaways and retreats.
Yes, Mama Squatch can be a next-level handful. Think double-Squatch-fisted handful. Like when she shows up at my sleep site in the forest unannounced. "Sasquatch Junnnnnn-i-orrrrrr! You look tired. Have you been eating enough ferns and nightshades? Do you remember to look both ways before you cross human mountain bike trails? Those bikes now have huge tires for the snowy months.”
But she also birthed me which is no small endeavor. She nurtured me and she sure-as-heck fed me well. She spent entire mornings pulling up wapato tubers in calf-deep sloughs. She’s my mom, and I love her. Especially on Mother’s Day.
So, this year I’m going to treat Mama Squatch to a night at Lodge902 in Hood River. It’s an old house built in 1911 with six bedrooms, but everything you'd want to be new (like the towels, beds and bedding) is brand new. We’ll watch the sunset and sip wine from the rocking chairs on the veranda overlooking the Columbia River. Mama will take a luxurious bath in her jet tub. Yes, I’ll have to dig out all the hair in the drain later when she’s elsewhere, but she’s worth it.
Maybe you want to treat the mama in your life to a night at Lodge 902 on Mother’s Day Weekend. Maybe YOU’RE a mama who wants to get away for a night with a mama friend. You deserve it, mamas!
NOT looking forward to meeting you,
Squatch
Things to do in Hood River on Mother’s Day (Sunday, May 13):
Jacob Williams Winery: Moms taste for free all day, 10am - 6pm
http://jacobwilliamswinery.com/event/happy-mothers-day/
The Pines 1852 Vineyard: Roses and Rose Mom’s Day Event $25, 1-3pm, live music 3-5pm
http://www.thepinesvineyard.com/events/
Hood River Soaring Scenic Glider Rides: 10am-4pm
https://www.hoodriversoaring.org/scenic-rides
Where to Eat:
Lodge 902 is a bed and breakfast in the Columbia Gorge’s most celebrated town, Hood River, Oregon. With six bedrooms all with adjoining the bathrooms and plenty of comfortable common areas, it’s an ideal house to rent for off-site meetings, family reunions, wedding lodgings, guys’ weekends, women’s getaways and retreats.
Hiya. Sasquatch here. Squatch for short.
This year’s Hood River Hard-Pressed Cider Fest line up on Saturday, April 21, noon to 7pm, will include over 25 local cideries. With 50+ ciders to taste, there’s something for everyone! Full Sail Brewery will present their new KYLA Hard Kombucha (4.5% alcohol). The Hood River Valley is also excited about Draper Girls Family Farm’s new hard cider line that uses it’s own plums, peaches, cherries, pears and apples. Five bands will provide live music all day and there will be plenty of tasty fare from Hood River’s Solstice Wood-Fired Pizza Cafe, Portland’s crazy good Boke Bowl and Parkdale’s Apple Valley BBQ. Yum.
If you’re like me, you feel a little guilty/boozy/irresponsible drinking during the day. That’s why cider and brew fests are the BEST! I can start drinking at noon without feeling any more sloth-like than is normal for my species. When I hit a fest in a pavilion surrounded by acres of blooming orchards I feel adventuresome and cultured. Get me sampling the ciders that interest me, and now I’m a knowledgeable explorer of the area’s cider pressing scene. Drag me up to shake it next to the band, shove some local grub into my cavernous Sasquatch mouth and now I’m an XXL super hairy Anthony Bourdain.
Of course, you might want to line up lodging that weekend. Lodge 902 is a newly opened bed and breakfast right in downtown Hood River with comfy beds, stylish decor plus hot coffee, a tasty breakfast and misty river views in the morning.
Lodge 902 is also Hood River’s newest place to stay for family reunions, wedding parties, off-sites, retreats and gatherings of cyclers, hikers, skiers, kite boarders and foodies wanting to explore the Columbia River Gorge. The entire refurbished house built in 1911 can be rented out to larger groups. Its got 5 bedrooms/baths, a full chef’s kitchen, huge fireplace, rocking chair laden veranda with Gorge-ous views. Your group will feel right at home here.
NOT looking forward to meeting you,
Squatch
The Fifth Annual Hood River Hard Pressed Cider Fest
▪ When:Saturday, April 21, 2018
▪ Where: 3315 Stadelman Drive, Hood River, OR
▪ Hours:Noon-7 p.m.
▪ Tickets:
$20 – Full event pass (day-of purchase on site). Includes entry into Cider Fest, five taste tokens and commemorative glass.
$15 – Presale event pass (online purchase). Includes entry into Cider Fest, five taste tokens and commemorative glass.
▪ $10 – Entry only. Adult entry into Cider Fest event; ages 20 and under are free. Does not include commemorative glass and tokens.
▪ Purchase tickets online:org/cider-fest/
Entertainment Lineup
▪ Noon-12:45 p.m.–JoAnna Lee Sousa
▪ 1-2 p.m.–Laryssa Birdseye
▪ 2:30-3:30 p.m.–Oakenfir
▪ 4-5 p.m.–Tony Smiley
▪ 5:30-7 p.m.–Green Neck Daredevils
For more information:
Hiya. I’m Sasquatch—- Squatch for short. I’m the guy on the Lodge 902 logo. When I first met the women who run the Lodge we hit it off, which is rare because I’m not a people lover. Unlike most humans, Ellen and Sarah didn’t stare at my feet. Usually I’m all “my eyes are up here! Sheesh!” So when they politely asked if they could use my image on the Lodge logo, I let my hair down and said yes. Just this once. All those bumper stickers in which my posture is so slumpy? I did NOT agree to those.
Mostly I cruise the woods around Mount Hood, but when the hustle and bustle of forest life wears on me, I head into Hood River and stay at Lodge 902. Comfy beds, Pendleton blankets, vintage-inspired decor, self-serve espresso bar, sweet river vistas. Some rooms come with fireplaces and jetted bathtubs. All rooms have ensuite bathrooms. Pretty nice.
My dad was the original Sasquatch and now I carry on his tradition of being enormous and elusive As the ‘face,’ well, as the ‘whole 8 foot body’ of Lodge 902, I’ll blog about things to do in the Columbia River Gorge, local businesses that make Hood River so unique and getting my Ernest Hemingway ya-yas out. Everyone needs a healthy outlet.
NOT looking forward to meeting you,
Squatch
